Moving On

Today I am finishing packing my life for my move tomorrow. FYI...this is why I have been M.I.A. on the blog for the past week) It is a bitter sweet day. I've lived here for the past 3 1/2 years and absolutely loved almost every minute of it. I am for sure going to miss living 1/2 a mile from the beach, but there are some other memories I will be glad to not be reminded of every day.

It's weird how the move coincided with my 30th birthday. Not sure if I subconsciously did that or what, but I moved to the beach to be where the party is when I was 26 and not really caring about my job. Now I feel like I am starting a new chapter. I am more serious about my work now and am moving to make my life easier and happier.

Just some ramblings for today... gotta get back to packing!

Au revoir Bradley Beach!

Staying at emotional sea level

I am reading Spontaneous Happiness by Dr. Andrew Weil because I have been in a perpetual Debbie Downer mood now for a few weeks and it's pissing me off. So I'm doing everything I can to get myself out of it.

Let me just preface this post with this statement... I know I have no real problems. I'm not sick, no one in my life is sick or dying. I love what I am doing and feel fulfilled professionally. This has been making me feel even worse because I know there are people out there with real, serious problems. 

With that being said, I am now immersing myself in all things happy. I am probably about half way through this book, and although he has some valid points (which I will get to in a few sentences) it is a very technical book. Buyer beware...there is a lot of talk about the brain and neurochemicals and all that sort of stuff. Some of it is over my head, but I get the gist of it.

One of the things that he talks about is the fact that bouts of mild depression (or prolonged bad moods) are actually quite common and normal. He talks about how the state of our emotions can be compared to a boat in the ocean. The waves fluctuate and the boat is in constant motion from the top of the wave to the bottom of the wave.

"I believe that it may be normal, healthy, and even productive to experience mild to moderate depression from time to time as part of a variable emotional spectrum, either as an appropriate response to situations or as a way of turning inward and mentally chewing over some problems to find solutions. I still value my occasional periods of depressed mood as sources of intuitive knowledge, inspiration, and creative energy, and when I come out of them, I feel more vital and am more productive. I have found strategies to help me get through them, and I'm much relieved that I no longer get stuck in them." -Dr. Weil

I happen to be at the bottom of the wave right now. So I keep telling myself peaks and valleys are normal. I'm just in a valley right now, which has happened to me before and I've come out of quite successfully.

What do you do to get yourself out of a funk? I'm looking for some creative suggestions.

Seeking Motivation

I've been in a funk lately. I am trying to pull myself out of it, but it's been a slow and not so pleasant process. By trying I mean I'm basically forcing myself to do things that I know I should be doing (working out, eating right, not sleeping my life away) and forcing myself to do the things I have to do (working, eating) and force myself to do the things I should want to do (being out and about).

I keep telling myself to "act as if" and eventually I will feel better. I guess it's working because I do feel better than I did a week ago.

I've also been looking for different things that I can do to get outside of my "box". Last night I went to a raw food group meeting with Victoria Moran as the guest speaker. I went specifically because she is an excellent speaker and very motivating. After 2 hours of listening to her I felt better. I feel more like myself again. Further proof that I need to seek out more people that will motivate me.

If you are in the Ramsey, NJ area and are interested in learning more about raw foods/healthier living there is a great Raw Food Support Network run by Karen Ranzi.

Anyone have a fix for a funky mood that you can't beat?

Worried Sick

I woke up sick Monday morning. I mean really sick. Out of nowhere. Sunday I was fine. Well, let me rephrase that. I thought I might be getting sick, like a little twinge of something, in the middle of the day, but I took a diesel nap and woke up with no trace. Fast forward 12 hours and I'm waking up feeling like my head is in a vice and my throat is on fire. WTF?

I might also mention that I was having a mental tug-of-war in my head all weekend over something that now seems absolutely redunkulous. I worked myself up so much that I think that is why I got sick. Now I know where the phrase 'worried sick' comes from. Normally I can attribute my sickness to burning the candle at both ends, but this is definitely not the case this week. I have been fully rested and getting my almost daily dose of vitamin D, juicing pretty regularly, and eating healthy overall.

So what the hell happened? Well, this is just a theory, but I have heard from numerous sources that emotions play a role in health. And the more I think about it the more I believe it. Actually, when I think back to the times I have been most frequently sick in my life I have been supremely unhappy.

Some people are good at being unhappy. I'm not. This is a lesson I continue to teach myself. Getting out of my head is hard sometimes, and if it goes on too long I literally have physical symptoms. But I keep on tryin'!

Have to get back into the swing of things so I can get S-H-I-T done before the long weekend! Can't believe the summer is almost over :(

Feeling like I'm inside a tornado

SO, this is it! Raw Generation opens it's website tomorrow! I am excited and nervous, but very happy that this day is here. As if that doesn't produce enough to do and worry about, my final exam opened up yesterday for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I really have a knack for overloading myself. I was contemplating waiting until next week to take it, but decided since I get two tries, I would just try to pass it right away to get it off my plate.

And guess what? I passed!! Ahhhh, one less thing to worry about. Now all I have to do is finish the website, and make sure everything is set up right so tomorrow goes as smooth as possible. I know there will be issues, but I'm trying to button everything up as much as I can.

Oh, and I also finished my first eBook Frustrated to Fabulous which you can find here.

Wow, that's a lot! I can't believe I'm getting everything done and not having anxiety attacks. I've come such a long way over the past two years.

Sorry for the shortness of this all, but I'm sure you can understand. See you tomorrow!

Hunger Pains

I'm not talking about physical hunger, like "I haven't eaten in hours and my stomach is growling". I'm talking about the hunger pains you get when something in your life is missing, or maybe a lot of things in your life are missing. How do you feed that hunger for love from others, a career you love, a life you love? SHOPPING!

I used to shop my hunger pains away and the degree of my shopping sprees were based on how miserable I was at the time. I think I figured out why so many people buy so many things. Getting new things fills the void.

When I was living in Atlanta I was at the height of hating my life and thus my bank account suffered. I hated my job and felt like I was stuck there because I had signed a year lease on my apartment and made the move from Savannah to Atlanta. I made a commitment to my employer. Plus, I wasn't ready to move home yet, which was pretty much my only other option at that point. I had no serious love interests and within months of moving to ATL all of my friends had serious boyfriends and became much less available. That was the first time in my life that I was truly lonely.

So I shopped. I bought clothes, shoes, more shoes, furniture, and sporting goods for my new hobbies to fill the alone time I had so much of. No wonder I was always running low on funds. I was shopping every week, several times a week. I would buy new things and then lose interest in them rather quickly. Like with clothes. I wore something a few times at the most and then didn't like it anymore. So I would go out and buy new.

Fast forward to now and I feel the exact opposite about most everything in my life. Aside from the fact that I'm completely and totally single, I am really happy about everything else that is going on in my life. I am finally (!!!!!!!) doing something that I love and that I actually think will make a difference in people's lives, I love where I live, I love my friends and family, and I just got a beautiful new car! And guess what I have zero urge to do? SHOP!

I'm not kidding, this is probably the happiest I've ever been in my adult life and the least I have shopped. EVER! I went shopping once at the beginning of May and bought a few things that I needed, but other than that nothing. My favorite past time is usually digging for hours in the racks at Marshall's and I haven't been there in many months.

Happiness is a work in progress and I think for a lot of people (including myself) it is something that has to be worked on constantly. Instead of buying my happiness, I am working on filling those voids with substance.

So the question of the day is if you are filling your life with stuff, what void are you actually trying to fill?