Stress & IBS

One of my dear friends has been dealing with Irritable Bowel Syndrome symptoms for several years now. I have been giving her suggestions here and there on what to do to try to get rid of it. Until recently I was under the impression that IBS was one of those things that doctors would diagnose you with if they didn't know what was wrong with you. Now I know that IBS is something that doctors diagnose you with if there seems to be nothing wrong with you.

If you are having IBS symptoms, there is obviously something wrong... it's just nothing that doctors are testing for. They are looking in the wrong place. Here's what my friend has learned that has helped her tremendously.

After three years of dealing with IBS, I've learned what my "triggers" are and what I can't eat a ton of. If I have too much dairy, particularly cheese, or processed sugar, like candy or Splenda/Equal or things like that I get set off. Part of what I learned though was how connected your digestion system is to your nervous system.  My stress levels also had a significant impact on my digestion, maybe even more than my trigger foods.

With that, came my new years resolution: to be kind to myself.  The following have helped ease my stress, which in turn eased my IBS symptoms and digestion issues.

1. Drink warm water or tea after every meal.  Warm water not only eases digestion  by relaxing the muscles, but is also a natural detoxifier.  Keeping hydrated, especially with warm water has a certain comfort to it too!

2. Being mindful of what I am eating. I often rush through my meals, which either causes me to be hungry and crave my trigger foods later or causes indigestion.  Slowing down and bringing all the senses to my meals means that I eat only until I am full and helps my digestion system break down the food, rather than swallowing it whole practically.

3.  Deep breathing or alternate nostril breathing.  First of all, concentrating on the changing nostrils has definitely distracted me and allowed me to put my stressor in perspective.  Second, deep breathing is meditative even when you aren't going for that and has a calming effect.  Lastly, we are all given so many breaths so by making each one count slows you down to be in the moment.

~ L 

When was the last time your doctor talked to you about anything like that? Being someone who is prone to letting stress and anxiety get the best of me, I can relate to her suggestions about deep breathing and taking the time to eat, relax, and take care of yourself.

If your body is screaming at you, it may be more beneficial to check in on your stress levels and how you are  (or are not) taking care of yourself. To-do lists never go away & there is always tons of stuff to do each day.

Who is it going to effect if you take time out of your day to make sure you are taken care of? (hint: YOU!)

Sometimes the best thing to do is NOTHING

Monday and Tuesday of this week were utterly overwhelming for me. It was like an avalanche of stuff was holding me back from getting anything done. Part of the problem was I was trying to get everything done at once and the other part was that I was looking at the big picture instead of the bite size pieces. You can't get an entire project done all at once. You need to work on one bite at a time. That is when it's manageable. 

It's been a long time since I've felt the need to cry. Like literally months (which I think it is a new Jess record)! The tears started welling up a few times on Monday and Tuesday which is my signal that I need to calm the F down. My dad told me a long time ago that "there is no crying in business" and I like to keep it that way. Plus it usually ends up ruining my makeup and my face gets all red and blotchy. I'm sorry but I've never seen a pretty crier. 

By the end of Tuesday I was so completely and utterly overwhelmed and mentally drained that I made the executive decision the take yesterday off.  But not before I got a good breakdown in while on the phone with my dad. Just another perk of being in business with family!

So yesterday I literally turned off my phone for a good portion of the day, didn't respond to one email, and laid in bed reading some crappy chick novel about the horrors of being a bridesmaid. I laid in bed all day. I drank coffee, read, took a nap, read some more, and almost fell asleep for nap #2. And I didn't think about business at all. I painted my nails, went out to dinner and watched a movie (I highly recommend Life of Pi). 

When I woke up yesterday morning I felt like I was completely renewed. And got more done than I had anticipated. 

I definitely learned this week that:

• I need to turn work off for at least a little while each night... no emails or social media
• I need to give myself time to think about/do something other than work a few nights a week
• sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is nothing

Adrenal Fatigue... no one talks about it, but it's what's making you (and me) sleepy

I am one of those people who gets stressed out easily. I have done a lot of work to try to minimize the stress in my life, minimize the amount of anxiety I put myself through, and increase the amount of time I spend taking care of myself.

But every once and a while I let the craziness of running a new business get the better of me and I end up running myself into the ground. It looks like... I get 8 hours of sleep a night, I wake up exhausted and it takes me a long time (and a little bit of caffeine) for me to feel awake. I have racing thoughts, and the constant feeling that I am not getting things done fast enough. I work from the time I wake up until shortly before I go to bed. I wish that I didn't have to sleep at all.

This is not sustainable for me... and it is where I am at right now. I have been aware of adrenal fatigue for a while now and I am pretty sure that this is the reason I constantly feel exhausted when I'm in high stress periods of my life. I have been reading Kris Carr lately (if you don't know about her she is an awesome cancer survivor who turned her life around and now promotes healthy living and eating) and I was just emailed one of her blog videos that I think eveyone would benefit from watching... because we all know most people are overworked, stressed out, and not taking care of themselves!

Self Doubt Creepers

I know I've used this cartoon before but it is very fitting for today

Over the past few days I've been feeling the self-doubt creeping into my thoughts. Mainly I guess because I'm starting something new and I'm just nervous that it isn't going to work out. I'm going into uncharted territory in the world of Jess and it’s F-ing nerve-racking. 

So I started my day out yesterday with a much needed convo with my business coach and we hashed out all of the S-H-I-T in my head. Haha, actually at one point she said 'your head isn't a litter box so get that shit out of there!' Love her! Usually I'm the one telling people to stop thinking bullshit thoughts and sometimes I guess I need the same advice. 

Something that I had worked on a few years ago when working through the hard core anxiety I used to have was asking myself if my thoughts were true. Like, when I would start what-if-ing about hypothetical situations that might happen. All I had to do to challenge it is say to myself... what are the chances that that particular situation would happen the way I think it's gonna happen? Slim. What happened to all of the catastrophes I conjured up in the past? They never happened the way I thought!

Anxiety and negative thoughts are not healthy! In fact I think they might be equally as bad as eating fast food. (Just my personal theory)

All I had to do this morning to whip myself back into shape was realize that I was being Debbie Downer and told myself to STOP! and THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS so I can move on and conquer the juice world!

Thanks Tracey!

Anxiety Level: ORANGE

On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being insanity, I've been around a level 7 lately. It's a combination of my overflowing to-do list and drinking regular coffee instead of decaf, and not regularly physically exerting myself. Luckily (for everyone else) only my nails and cuticles have been effected. Which brings me to my super important topic of today.

I am going on record as saying I AM COMPLETELY DONE BITING MY NAILS AND CUTICLES. 

I took a look at my toe nails the other day and was like Wow! I have really nice toe nails. (Thank God I don't have an insane urge to bite them!!). Then I looked at my nails, which right now look like a hyena was gnawing on them, and was thoroughly embarrassed and fed up. I could have really nice nails if I could just keep them out of my damn mouth.

So the task at hand is to cognitively train myself to believe I am not a nail biter. Stressful situation or not, I am not a nail biter.

I know I'm not curing cancer with the information I'm talking about, but it might make me a little less neurotic and therefore improve my quality of life.

Does anyone else have any tips that helped them stop???

P.S. I've tried the pepper nail polish- nothing. I actually like pepper.

Checking In

Well, I'm off for another bachelorette weekend with the most amazing people! But before I go, I thought I would do a little checking in since it's been a while. As those of you who read this blog know, I went through a bit of a funk in the past few weeks. I felt stuck, slightly bored, and frustrated. Thankfully I'm out of it and things are looking up!

While I was in said funk I got so fed up that I started doing anything I could to snap myself out of it. One of the things that I did was start reading Spontaneous Happiness by Dr. Andrew Weil. It was not what I expected, but it helped to know that other people go through the same things that I do (i.e. spontaneous bad moods that last weeks). The book is called Spontaneous Happiness, but there was a lot of talk about spontaneous unhappiness.

Anyway, in his book he asks a series of questions so you can figure out where you are. Read on...

Q: Do you have any illnesses? Symptoms that concern you?
A: Not that I'm aware, but my right elbow mysteriously started hurting about a week ago and was made worse when I tripped and superman-ed the boardwalk the other day. LOL thankfully it was in the afternoon when no one was really around.

Q: Are you regularly taking any dietary supplements or herbal remedies?
A: Yes, FIBER! You don't want to know what happens when I don't.

Q: Are there any illnesses that run in your family?
A: Yes, cancer, both sides, various types; also thyroid issues.

Q: On a scale of 1 - 10, with 1 being very unhealthy and 10 being very healthy, rate your present state of health.
A: Well I have always been prone to getting sick very easily, and have to seriously watch how I take care of myself, but in the grand scheme of things I would consider myself a 7 or 8. Compared to the "typical American" I would consider myself a 10.

Q: Have you ever been diagnosed with a mood disorder?
A: Lol, no but if a doctor could read my thoughts at the height of my PMS episodes I'm sure I could be diagnosed with multiple mood disorders.

Q: Have you ever suffered from depression or anxiety?
A: YES & YES. Mild bouts of depression have coincided with the times that I have had really bad general anxiety. Thankfully, I learned how to get rid of the daily anxiety I suffered with, and when if flairs up I can usually talk myself out of it.

Q: Do you think you eat a healthy diet?
A: On the weekdays yes, weekends are questionable. But I'm sure everyone thinks they eat healthier than they do.

Q: How much caffeine do you consume?
A: Hardly any now. I have always been a big coffee drinker (I LOVE IT!) but when I went through the attacking anxiety program I learned that caffeine is a big anxiety trigger so I decaffeinated myself. Now I only drink half calf if I absolutely am exhausted and can't take a nap.

Q: Do you have good friends?
A: YES! THE BEST!

Q: Do you get stuck in thought patterns that make you depressed or anxious?
A: Ummm, yes and yes. I am a pro at playing out a scenario in my head before it happens, and twisting myself up imagining the worst. It never happens in real life the way it happens in my head. Now when I catch myself doing that I say, "STOP! You're doing it again" (in my head of course). I don't talk to myself out loud thank god.


This was just a few of the pages of questions. It's good to write these things down in black and white. It's nice to be honest with yourself and really know how and why you feel the way that you do, see how far you've come and be able to laugh at yourself from time to time. 

Off to have some much needed fun with the girlies at the beach!

Worried Sick

I woke up sick Monday morning. I mean really sick. Out of nowhere. Sunday I was fine. Well, let me rephrase that. I thought I might be getting sick, like a little twinge of something, in the middle of the day, but I took a diesel nap and woke up with no trace. Fast forward 12 hours and I'm waking up feeling like my head is in a vice and my throat is on fire. WTF?

I might also mention that I was having a mental tug-of-war in my head all weekend over something that now seems absolutely redunkulous. I worked myself up so much that I think that is why I got sick. Now I know where the phrase 'worried sick' comes from. Normally I can attribute my sickness to burning the candle at both ends, but this is definitely not the case this week. I have been fully rested and getting my almost daily dose of vitamin D, juicing pretty regularly, and eating healthy overall.

So what the hell happened? Well, this is just a theory, but I have heard from numerous sources that emotions play a role in health. And the more I think about it the more I believe it. Actually, when I think back to the times I have been most frequently sick in my life I have been supremely unhappy.

Some people are good at being unhappy. I'm not. This is a lesson I continue to teach myself. Getting out of my head is hard sometimes, and if it goes on too long I literally have physical symptoms. But I keep on tryin'!

Have to get back into the swing of things so I can get S-H-I-T done before the long weekend! Can't believe the summer is almost over :(

It's been a busy week!

But so worth it! I am happy to say that in the past 7 days I finished and launched my eBook (which you can find here), past my final exam for my Holistic Health Coach Certification, and Raw Generation is officially open for business! Go check out our website!

I have to admit, when I'm productive, I'm productive. If only every week was like the past.... I'd rule the world!!! Haha, kidding. 

I also managed to get everything done without ANY anxiety, without getting sick, without giving up my mostly healthy eating habits, and without over exhausting myself. I am thoroughly beat though and need some R&R in my bed with some tea and a book. 

PS... I know I haven't been posting anything lately about cooking and whatnot, but to be honest I haven't been cooking or even preparing much. I've been drinking a lot of juice and eating a lot of eggs. I'll get back into it one of these days. Cooler weather is coming which means I'll be getting into some great comforting soups and such.

How is everyone else's week going?

Feeling like I'm inside a tornado

SO, this is it! Raw Generation opens it's website tomorrow! I am excited and nervous, but very happy that this day is here. As if that doesn't produce enough to do and worry about, my final exam opened up yesterday for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I really have a knack for overloading myself. I was contemplating waiting until next week to take it, but decided since I get two tries, I would just try to pass it right away to get it off my plate.

And guess what? I passed!! Ahhhh, one less thing to worry about. Now all I have to do is finish the website, and make sure everything is set up right so tomorrow goes as smooth as possible. I know there will be issues, but I'm trying to button everything up as much as I can.

Oh, and I also finished my first eBook Frustrated to Fabulous which you can find here.

Wow, that's a lot! I can't believe I'm getting everything done and not having anxiety attacks. I've come such a long way over the past two years.

Sorry for the shortness of this all, but I'm sure you can understand. See you tomorrow!

Slow & Steady Wins the Race

I often feel like I am not doing things fast enough. Intellectually I know this is ridiculous because I am probably one of the most productive people on the planet, but still I get caught in the mental booby trap. I think part of this is because my to-do list NEVER gets any shorter, and I am always finding new things to do.

One of the things that I feel is not moving fast enough is the development of our new juice business- Raw Generation. I know in the grand scheme of things 4 months is not a long time to develop and launch a business, but it just seems to be dragging on. I feel like we should be ready by now to launch. We have a few things left to develop, but I feel like I have been saying that now for the past 2 months. There are always "a few more things" to do. I need to draw a line in the sand (otherwise this could go on indefinitely).

One of our accomplishments last week was designing our labels that are to go on the bottles. I have to say I am sooo happy with them!

So, I guess I am writing through my frustration, and I just need to tell myself that I am making progress even though it doesn't seem fast enough. My to-do list will never go away. Slow and steady wins the race! This way of thinking gets me trapped in anxiety-producing thoughts that feed on themselves. I know this, and I recognize it happening to me right now. If you change your thoughts you change your feelings. Remember that!

Do any of you feel the same way sometimes?

Change Happens When You Ask For Help

What does it mean when a butterfly lands on you?
This little guy was very content sitting on my shoe :)

Last week I attended a 3 day conference given by two wonderful women, Carey & Stacey, that are Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) grads and holistic entrepreneurs. I have to be honest when I say I really had no idea what this conference was about or what I would get out of it, all I knew was that there would be a room filled with people from IIN and I could use it as a networking opportunity.

I wasn't even sure if I was going to stay for all three days. I was talking myself out of it before I even got there- something I am pretty good at. I didn't even want to go the morning of, but something inside forced me to get myself there.

Let me preface what I am about to share with you with a fact: they were literally the best 3 days of my life thus far. It has been 3 full days since I left and I am still digesting all that I learned about myself. Here is my one huge revelation that I came away with:

• I did not grow up in a comfortable environment and it was even more uncomfortable when I needed to ask for help. EFFECT: I became very self-sufficient.
• I take on everything because I am uncomfortable asking for help. I think I can do it all until I am totally overloaded and completely stressed out. EFFECT: I don't let myself ask for help until I am reduced to tears and anxiety attacks.
• I have been attracted to people who are incapable of helping me, and in fact they are incapable of taking care of themselves. REASON: I know I can't ask them for help and I don't have to feel uncomfortable.  

This was a HUGE thing for me to realize. I have to be able to ask for help so that I don't get to my breaking point. I can change everything that I put in my mouth and think I am more healthy, but in fact, stress is just as big of an indication in whether people succumb to disease (in my humble opinion). So until I am fully capable of  becoming more comfortable asking for help when I need it, I am not doing everything I can to prevent disease in myself, especially since I am prone to becoming stressed out easily. 

I am making it one of my priorities to ask for help, and surround myself with people who are capable of helping me. And I am asking you for help. I am asking for those of you who are ready to make real improvements in your life to work with me. Whether it be around your health, or love, or breaking through to the life that you want to live, change happens when you ask for help. 

I have struggled through most of the change that I have made for myself, and through that I have figured out the steps necessary to take my life to the next level. You don't have to struggle to figure it out. 

If you are ready to change, make a commitment to yourself and ask me for help. 

With love, Jess

Seeing the Forest Through the Trees

Isn't it funny how we can get completely wrapped up in something that goes against who we are, what we believe in, and how we want to live our lives? It's funny now because I'm out of the worst of it. But 2 months ago it was all I could do to figure out how I was going to live without someone I had been in love with for so long.

With distance comes perspective. I know now that I was lying to myself about the whole situation and hoping and waiting for it to get better. All the while, my gut was telling me 'get out...this isn't you...why are you putting up with this S-H-I-T?' There were red flags going back to the beginning, and if I knew then what I know now I definitely would not have entertained the idea of a relationship. Still I loved.

But that's why they say hindsight is 20/20. If only foresight was 20/20.

Over the past two years I have really changed my lifestyle. At the time when we started dating I was concerned with little other than my plans for the weekend. I hadn't been effected by losing anyone to cancer yet; I still thought myself invincible. But more than that has changed. I feel like changing the food that I eat has changed the way I look at things. I learned that if I am to accomplish the things I want to accomplish I am going to have to surround myself with positive people who support me. I am going to have to be diligent about who I give my time and energy to. I am going to have to listen to myself, because deep down I know when something I am doing or someone I am spending time with doesn't agree with me.

Anyway, the reason I am writing to you about this is because I firmly believe that your state of mind and your state of happiness (or unhappiness) effects your health. Arguing is a stress response. Anxiety is a stress response. Crying is a stress response. Frustration is a stress response. All of these negative emotions have a physiological impact on your body and health. The hormones that are released during a stress response negatively impact your immune system which is in charge of keeping you healthy by getting rid of the bad things like bacteria and cancer cells. When you are constantly under stress (either self imposed or from something beyond your control) your immune system can't keep up.

There is already plenty of stressful S-H-I-T that we have to deal with in everyday life. Why is it then that we get stuck dating/marrying/living with/being friends with people who don't make us happy? Who hurt us emotionally and even physically? Who make our lives difficult? Who make you think maybe you are the problem and that you will never find anyone 'as good to you as they are'?

Who we choose to spend our lives with is one of the few things that we have control over, and in my opinion is one of the most important.

It's easy to get sucked into something without thinking about it. I'm sure as hell guilty of that. But this is going to be one of the things that I am aware of from now on, because I want to be totally conscious in choosing someone that is going to be such a huge part of my life- someone who could possibly impact my health. And (for the record) I will find someone who treats me better. That will be easy.

What are your views on peoples' mental state and their health? Do you think that being perpetually angry/sad/frustrated has anything to do with how they feel physically? or how sick they become?

There are very few things I regret

In general, I do not regret much. I am not one to dwell on the past...I am usually anticipating the future.

I regret that I was a product of the 80's. Seriously mom! Was this really considered that cool that you would let me out of the house like this- especially to my own birthday party? Haha, my sister and I were literally just talking about this outfit this weekend and she found this picture yesterday. I thought I was hot S-H-I-T!

I regret not studying abroad in college. SCAD has a campus in the south of France- I'm a moron! The first two years I was in a relationship and the thought never crossed my mind, one year I was starting a business and I couldn't leave or it would cease to exist, another year I wasn't going because there wasn't one person I was remotely close with going. That is one thing I regret.

I was reading some of my random thoughts (I occasionally write them down) and one of the things I came across was my biggest regret. When my grandmother, Nani, was diagnosed with cancer, I took over the role of cooking for her (most of the time) and one of the things that she asked me for was to put potatoes in her chili. And I didn't. Why? Because potatoes don't go in chili.

What the F is wrong with me?

My grandmother was dying- put the damn potatoes in the chili. Anyway, I guess that's the stubbornness that I inherited from Nani.

I regret that my relationship with my boyfriend is all F-ed up AGAIN! It's really sad and frustrating when you try so hard at something that seems like it shouldn't be that hard. Or should it? I don't know. I hear that the people who have successful long-term relationships don't have to try that hard- it just works. And then I hear the opposite... that it is a job that you have to consistently try to work at. Why can't two people who love each other just be?

That's what I am going to work on... just being. I spend so much time worrying about the future and what-if-ing that I ruin today. Sorry for the Debbie downer post. I just had a mini-woe-is-me moment. I'm done.

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it 

only saps today of its joy.  

~Leo Buscaglia

Bad Breath

So recently my BF has told me that I always have bad breath. What? NO! How could that be? I thought it was because I wasn't flossing enough. Fixed that. I thought maybe I wasn't brushing enough. Fixed that. I thought it may be what I was eating. Fixed that.

Well, it wasn't any of those. Let me enlighten you on a little thing called cryptic tonsils. A little over a year ago I was just sitting down in my seat on a flight back from Vegas. I was severely hung over, and neurotically anxious. TIP: don't go to Vegas if you have chronic-high-level-anxiety. Anyway, I was reading my book before takeoff and I sneezed, spitting out this white ball. I was like "S-H-I-T that must have been a filling!" But I didn't think the force of a sneeze could dislodge a cavity filling. I couldn't examine it because there was a man sitting next to me. Haha could you imagine? So I brushed it to the floor and continued having a mini-anxiety meltdown.

A couple of weeks later, my sister and I took a weekend trip up to Newport, RI where I learned that the same thing happens to her (sorry Julie, couldn't omit this part). She can actually get them out though. I was like WAIT! Is this bad? Do I have to get surgery? A million questions. She had gone to the doctor about it, and apparently it is not bad unless you start having chronic sore throats (which I don't).

Flash forward one year. This morning, about 2 minutes after I woke up I sneezed dislodging one of those little white balls again. This time in the privacy of my bedroom I could examine it. Gross I know, but you know you do gross shit too when you are in private.

I Googled "coughing up little white balls" and this is what it says:

Cryptic tonsils are pockets in the tonsils that accumulate food and other debris, cause bad breath and occasionally sore throat. Cryptic tonsils are also called tonsil stones, tonsilloliths, fetid tonsils and chronic caseous tonsillitis.

You can get cryptic tonsils because you have naturally "wrinkly" tonsils, which are more prone to trap food. Other debris can accumulate in these holes in your tonsils as well, including pus and a bacteria that produces volatile sulfur compounds and creates halitosis (bad breath). Of all the causes of bad breath, cryptic tonsils only account or about 3% of cases, though.

There are a couple of options for treating cryptic tonsils, depending on the severity of the condition.

• Some individuals use water picks to remove the debris, although there isn't much research on the safety of this practice. 
• Another treatment for cryptic tonsils is CO(2) laser cryptolysis. This is an in-office procedure which uses a laser beam to ablate (get rid of) the pockets in the tonsils. The patient is given a local anesthetic to prevent pain and the procedure takes about 20 minutes. Cryptic tonsils and bad breath may be cured the first time this procedure is performed, but some individuals may need the procedure a second time.
• The last option to treat cryptic tonsils is a tonsillectomy. Removing the tonsils is effective virtually 100 percent of the time, but the surgery has risks that must be considered. Tonsillectomy is usually only recommended if you have other problems related to your tonsils such as chronic strep throat or sleep apnea.

 (Original Source)

I was like EPIPHANY! THIS IS WHY I HAVE HAD BAD BREATH! So I choked myself for about 10 minutes trying to see if there were any more back there. No luck. But I am going to ask my BF if my breaf still stinks.

Haha, good morning! hope you have a lovely day!

NYE: I'm not being pessimistic when I say it's OVERRATED!

I do this every year- without fail. Normally I am indecisive up until the very last minute. I hem and haw over where I can go to be the least uncomfortable about not having anyone to kiss at midnight. A few years ago it ended up being a very lucky drunk boy from Staten Island (shame). Luckily this year my boyfriend has the night off so I can calm my worried mind! (don't worry- the Staten Island boy was before I started dating my BF)


I am going to try not to go overboard, or spill a drink down my dress, or fall down stairs, and most importantly...I am going to relax, have fun and STOP thinking this night is such a big deal!

Happy New Year!

I'm F.I.N.E.

I made it through Christmas with only 2 freak outs. With that being said I actually had an amazing weekend, and I know not to expect perfection because no matter how hard you try things tend not to turn out exactly the way you plan.

I listened to a lecture last week from John Douillard, PhD, who is an expert in Ayurvedic medicine and lifestyles. Anywho, he was talking about when women say they are fine. Ladies you know what I'm talking about. When you are in an argument with someone and instead of actually saying how you feel you say...I'm FINE. Most guys take this at face value and don't ask you what's wrong, in turn feeding your psychosis. Well John Douillard summed it up quite nicely.

FINE= Freaked Out, Insecure, Neurotic, & Emotional

I used to be a pro at this. Pretending I wasn't upset and stuffing my feelings came natural to me, and caused me a lot of extra frustration because instead of just airing out my beef when it came up...I would stuff it, let it simmer and stir, analyse every single aspect of it, let it simmer, progressively getting angrier until I EXPLODED on whoever pissed me off. 

Now that I am older and wiser I just let it all out as soon as I get pissed off. It's actually so much better (for me, maybe not for everyone else) and rids me of a lot of potential anxiety. It also isn't healthy to walk around with so much anger/frustration/hostility/resentment etc.,etc.

So ladies...next time you feel inclined to say you are FINE. Take a deep breath, and let it all out. It is no good to let it simmer, AND guys don't take hints. You need to S-P-E-L-L it out for them. 

Being a psychopath is not pretty....even if you have perfect hair!

Constipation Consternation

I have been a little concerned as of late because I have not been "regular" if you know what I mean.

WARNING: I am about to talk about poop. If it grosses you out, I am sorry. However, I think in public you would poo poo this, but in private (which I assume you are now) you really want to read more. Just my guess.

It started a few weeks ago, actually it was a few days before Thanksgiving. It was around the time I made lentil soup, so at first I thought it might be that, but it has been too long now. Then I thought it was because I took a brief hiatus from smoothying, but I am back to that now and I am still having "issues". I even started taking Citrucel again.

To be more specific I was just in the ladies room at my office, which is basically right off of the main room. I was "stuck" in there for said reason and realized that I had left one of the doors unlocked, which instantly gave me anxiety about "What if someone walks in? I can't tell them I'm constipated! Then I'm going to have to rush and be uncomfortable!" RACING THOUGHTS...MORE ANXIETY... Then the phone starts ringing...OBVIOUSLY NOT PICKING THAT ONE UP! Then I thought about 2 days ago when I had an "episode" in my house where I literally thought I was giving birth out of my ass and actually grunted when all was said and done. LOL I am literally crying laughing right now as I am writing this.

For what it's worth, I am not really sure why I consistently have these ridiculous stories to tell, but I hope it brightened up your day and made you laugh.

See what anxiety does to people? Do you suffer from anxiety? 

Reflecting on the Last Year

I used to get hung up on 'not getting enough done'. I would beat myself up mentally which never resulted in better results, just more negative feelings. I started to look at things differently when I put myself through the Midwest Center for Stress & Anxiety. It was  a 15 week program which I started in October of 2010 and ended in January of this year (2011). One of the things that this program teaches is how to change your thinking, which will ultimately change the way that you feel. And it works. I was a walking billboard for chronic anxiety, self-doubt, anger, and worrying. But now I'm perfect! Haha just kidding!!!

One of the things I did to help me get over the 'not getting enough done' way of thinking was to write down what I actually accomplished. I sat down and thought about everything that I had done over the previous year. And you know what? When I actually took a few minutes to think about it (and write it down in black and white) I was proud of myself. I had done quite a bit. I did this exercise every week for a few months to try to build the habit.

Well, recently I have fallen back in that trap. It happens when I have a lot on my plate and am feeling scattered. My health coach (yes I have a health coach; one of the perks of going to school to get certified as one) worked it out with me so that my goal is to focus on one or two big things I have to do every week and put everything else out of my field of view so I do not overwhelm myself. In addition to that, I thought I would make a list of all of the things that I have accomplished this year. Here I go:

• started a blog
• enrolled in school to become a holistic health coach (and passed the 1st test)
• improved my diet by leaps and bounds
• lost weight (approx 10 lbs)
• reconnected with 5 old friends that I had fallen out of touch with
• came up with 2 different business ideas that I will be pursuing after Christmas
• learned 2 new computer programs (it would have been 3 if WordPress wasn't such a pain in my ass)
• made a raw cake
• took 2 vacations
• made a lot of progress in the LOVE department

I think that is pretty good for one year. I urge you to do the same. Sit down with yourself and make a list of all of your accomplishments over the last week, month, or year. It's shocking right?

What is an accomplishment you've made over the past year?

Pressure Cooker

Yesterday at 5pm I looked at the week ahead on my calendar because I started the habit of planning my workday two days out. Usually it changes at least a little but I find that it helps me stay productive if I can see at a glance the chunks of work I have to do. Well, when I clicked over to next week I nearly had a heart attack. OH S-H-I-T! MY FIRST TEST IS ON MONDAY!!!

I am not one to put things off, but the last month of work and Christmas trees has completely taken my focus off of school (Remember? I am studying to be a Certified Holistic Health Coach). My memory told me that the first test was in January, not December.

I had been planning on doing school work this weekend already, however this changed everything. I checked how many weeks behind I was (4) and I scrambled to find my class schedule to see how long the test was posted for. Whew- as it turns out the test is posted for 2 1/2 weeks...oh my god! lifesaver. I was about to go into hyper-psycho-cram-for-this-test-mode.

This is a great example of how far I have come in the past year. A year ago, my anxiety-ridden-self would have panicked to the point of helplessness. I would have mentally defeated myself before I even tried to start studying. Now, I did not work myself into a downward spiral. After I spent 2 minutes freaking out, I took a deep breath and started chugging along. I made a mental list of everything that I absolutely had to do over the next two weeks, blocked out time for it, and filled in the rest of my calendar with "STUDY TIME". I now feel better about this situation.

No Christmas tree or decorations, no Christmas cards, no bullshiting. I just need to buckle down and study.

Sometimes pressure is the best motivation. Good thing I just made a ton of food that is in my refrigerator/freezer. Wish me luck! (I can't wait for January!)


What keeps you stress free, especially during the holidays?

On The Fly

It's that time of the year again...Christmas time!!! Maybe not for you, but we have a Christmas-related business that always picks up steam the beginning of November. So. Hello stressful busy season, goodbye time to cook. I am usually super fun to be around this time of year because of my tendency towards stress and anxiety, but thankfully I finished that anxiety program earlier this year and I know when I am getting stressed/anxious and am much better at stopping it before I loose my mind. Also, I've never been on a health kick like the one that I am on now so this should be interesting. I am so thankful for grocery store salad bars. This lovely little salad is packed with spinach, kale, romaine lettuce, carrots, red onion, broccoli, hard boiled eggs, kamut, quinoa, barley, black beans and wheat berries.

What the F is kamut you ask?

Well, it is actually khorsan wheat (Kamut is the brand) and is higher in protein and many minerals, especially selenium, zinc, and magnesium compared to modern wheat. The origin of this grain is disputed but it was introduced to Americans in Egypt in the 1950's.

Quinoa is a grain-like crop grown primarily for its edible seeds. It is a pseudo-cereal rather than a true cereal, or grain, as it is not a member of the grass family. Quinoa was of great nutritional importance in pre-Columbian Andean civilizations, secondary only to the potato, and was followed in importance by maize. In contemporary times, this crop has become highly appreciated for its nutritional value, as its protein content is very high (12%–18%). Unlike wheat or rice(which are low in lysine), and like oats, quinoa contains a balanced set of essential amino acids for humans, making it a complete protein source, unusual among plant foods. It is a good source of dietary fiber and phosphorus and is high in magnesium and iron. Quinoa is gluten-free and considered easy to digest. 

Barley contains eight of the nine essential amino acids. According to a recent study, eating whole grain barley can regulate blood sugar (i.e. reduce blood glucose response to a meal) for up to 10 hours after consumption compared to white or even whole-grain wheat, which has a similar glycemic index.

Beans, beans are good for your heart...the more you eat...(you know the rest). Speaking of farts, if you love beans but hate the gas it produces, add in cumin (its a spice) to whatever the beans are in. It will make them more easily digestible. 

Honestly, if this stuff wasn't labeled in the salad bar I wouldn't
be able to tell what's what. 

Wheat Berries are the entire wheat kernel (except for the hull), comprising the bran, germ, and endosperm. Wheat berries have a tan to reddish brown color and are available as either a hard or soft processed grain. They are often added to salads or baked into bread to add a crunchy texture; as a whole grain, they also provide nutritional benefits since they are an excellent source of dietary fiber.

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Over the next two months I continue to make smoothies for the first half of my day, and then probably switching between sushi, veggie sandwiches at a local deli, and Whole Foods salads. I have not been extremely hungry lately (weird!) but if I do get extra hungry, I can supplement this with granola bars or protein shakes. I am a little leery about the prepared food at Whole Foods for a couple of reasons. They portray themselves as a "health food store" but their products and prepared foods are LOADED with soy products. Also, I find some of their prepared food to taste WEIRD! I got some spring roll wrapped in rice paper with peanut sauce- it was gross to say the least. I don't know... maybe some people like their meal to taste as if it came right-out-of-the-ground. Not I said Miss Jessie. Sticking to the salad bar.


BEWARE: Most salad dressings are LOADED with garbage ingredients. It is so F-ing easy to make your own (I keep some at home and at work). Basically you can use any vinegar that you like, extra virgin olive oil, and...spicy brown mustard! That's it. Shake and dump all over your salad. Some people (not going to name names) will tell you that it has too much fat. HOWEVER! It is more important to get those veggies into your body than to worry about the fat in the olive oil. ESPECIALLY since the olive oil is a healthy fat and the one that you should absolutely be eating. FAT FREE IS NOT HEALTHY! Plus (I'm about to start bragging) I eat full fat everything (!) and I have been loosing weight. You just have to make sure that you are eating ALOT of fruits and veggies. Once you have been eating a lot of fruits and veggies your taste buds will start to change and you will need less and less dressing. You will actually like the taste of vegetables! Who-da-thunk-it?