Monday, February 13, 2012

There are very few things I regret

In general, I do not regret much. I am not one to dwell on the past...I am usually anticipating the future.

I regret that I was a product of the 80's. Seriously mom! Was this really considered that cool that you would let me out of the house like this- especially to my own birthday party? Haha, my sister and I were literally just talking about this outfit this weekend and she found this picture yesterday. I thought I was hot S-H-I-T!

I regret not studying abroad in college. SCAD has a campus in the south of France- I'm a moron! The first two years I was in a relationship and the thought never crossed my mind, one year I was starting a business and I couldn't leave or it would cease to exist, another year I wasn't going because there wasn't one person I was remotely close with going. That is one thing I regret.

I was reading some of my random thoughts (I occasionally write them down) and one of the things I came across was my biggest regret. When my grandmother, Nani, was diagnosed with cancer, I took over the role of cooking for her (most of the time) and one of the things that she asked me for was to put potatoes in her chili. And I didn't. Why? Because potatoes don't go in chili.

What the F is wrong with me?

My grandmother was dying- put the damn potatoes in the chili. Anyway, I guess that's the stubbornness that I inherited from Nani.

I regret that my relationship with my boyfriend is all F-ed up AGAIN! It's really sad and frustrating when you try so hard at something that seems like it shouldn't be that hard. Or should it? I don't know. I hear that the people who have successful long-term relationships don't have to try that hard- it just works. And then I hear the opposite... that it is a job that you have to consistently try to work at. Why can't two people who love each other just be?

That's what I am going to work on... just being. I spend so much time worrying about the future and what-if-ing that I ruin today. Sorry for the Debbie downer post. I just had a mini-woe-is-me moment. I'm done.

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it 
only saps today of its joy.  
~Leo Buscaglia


  1. Love your note Jess! We all have crazy regrets (potatos in chilli) Don't worry, your grandmother is in heaven saying 'get over it Jess' and loving you anyway!
    AND from someone married 34 years, I agree when people say, "it shouldn't be that hard". If it's hard now, it will be pure hell in a few years!!! Mrs. G.

  2. Jess:

    Nani's is in heaven having chili dogs with potatoes now. And for someone married 36 years, it takes the ability for both to understand the meaning of compromise. Also Mrs. G is right on although I also love both of you. Mr. D


  3. Thanks for the encouragement Mr.D & Mrs.G! I know I am doing the right thing. :) Sometimes those thoughts just find a crack and creep right in and you question yourself.


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