Friday, December 2, 2011

My advice to college girls

Ladies... as someone who was able to party her way through college and grad school and still get almost straight A's, unfortunately I was not able to party my way through college and avoid gaining weight. I have some advice for you that I wish someone had told me when I was in college. While I know that there are so many fun things that involve drinking, nothing is fun about how long it takes to loose weight. 
  • Everyone will notice that you don't look as hot as you did when you graduated high school- but no one will be nice enough to give you a heads up so that you can start working out. People talk about other people. That is a fact of life...and I would rather know that they are talking about how good I look instead of how much weight I've gained.
  • You absolutely CANNOT try to keep up with guys when you are drinking. They will try to peer pressure you, but nothing good comes of trying. Guys do not gain weight like we do (nor do they get drunk as fast as we can). They can drink beer all day long, go for a quick run, eat pizza and still look hot. 
  • If you have a spare tire that sticks out as much as your boobs do- GO TO THE GYM! And absolutely DO NOT wear tight shirts until that S-H-I-T is taken care of.
  • Alcohol is processed by our bodies differently than food and other liquids. We do not get any nutrients out of it so it just depletes us and makes us tired, hungover, and FAT. 
  • If you do not want to workout, join a club or something that is activity oriented. It will get your lazy, hungover ASS off the couch. Or...DON'T DRINK LIKE AN ANIMAL!
  • If you start cooking for yourself, experiment with a lot of vegetables. Eat a lot of fruit in general. The more raw foods you eat, the easier it will be for you to keep the weight off or loose it. If you have a meal plan, and all of the food is over-cooked or greasy, eat all of the salads, vegetables, and fruit that you can. 
  • Designate at least an hour a day for working out (at least a few times a week). This will ensure that you are working off all those beers. 
  • Everyone is capable of gaining weight- even the "hot" ones you went to high school with.
  • Once you get out of college, all of a sudden your free time dries up and your motivation to workout after a long day at work is close to zero (if not negative). It is that much harder to loose weight. Trust me, I am still working on it and I have been out of grad school for 4 years now. 
At one point during college my Nani said to me 'Jessie, you are finally not skinny anymore." That should have been my cue to hit the gym and change what I was eating. But I thought she was just being an asshole. Well when I look back at pictures from high school and college there is a HUGE difference- and it's called my ass. 

You will know you are gaining weight if:
  • Your belly hangs over your jeans when you sit down
  • You constantly have to pull your shirts down to cover your stomach
  • You are white and getting hit on by black guys
  • You start to feel like you are stuffing yourself into your clothes
  • You used to be an athlete, but now it's uncomfortable to workout because your jiggly parts are getting in the way 
  • You have jiggly parts
Not only is gaining weight disastrous for your self-image, self-esteem, and level of attraction, it is also really bad for your health. I know your health isn't even in your radar right now because you think you will always be young and invincible, but trust me you won't. Time is going to start going faster and faster and all of a sudden you will be creeping up on 30 and realize that being slim, healthy, and beautiful is even more important to you. 

It is much sexier to take be hot and care of yourself than it is to impress guys with your record breaking keg stand. AND...most importantly, it is much easier to maintain being thin than it is to loose weight. Just saying...I wish I had someone who wasn't my mother's age tell me what's up. It isn't really believable when your mother is telling you these things. (sorry Mom)

Do you have any other advice for college girls?

1 comment:

  1. So your saying pregaming with a 12 pack when we were 18 yrs old wasn't a smart decision????


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